Thick Dumpling Skin

Nice Girls Crew at Stanford

Sat, 18 May 2013 08:38:00 -0700

Thick Dumpling Skin Co-founder Lynn Chen will be speaking at Stanford University this Monday the 20th with the team from Nice Girls Crew. The event is open to the public, and available to view online live!

Busy Month

Sun, 12 May 2013 21:40:00 -0700

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind, and I, of course, have been terrible about communicating where I’ve been. April and May is usually a busy time for us because of the API Heritage Month. I thought I would’ve gotten used to this after my publisher years at Hyphen, but the month still catches me by surprise every time.

“It’s May already?!” Oh yes indeed.

I love this month because in addition to celebrating who we are and the Asian American heritage, this month also gives us the opportunity to reflect upon the battles that previous generations had to fight in order to gain equality. I don’t know at what point did Asian Americans get stamped with the stereotype that we are a group of submissive people who don’t stand up for ourselves, but this month is a good month to look back in history and know that that’s so far from the truth.

Let’s be clear, we are still fighting many of the similar battles today, but I’ve always been an optimist and I know that change never comes as fast as we would like it to. But, we’ll get there, we just have to keep at it!

Switching gears a bit, I’d like to give some shout outs to the schools that I’ve visited. I spent Friday, April 5th, with students from Hope College in Michigan. Huge thanks to HAPA, Hope’s Asian Perspective Association for its hospitality.

After working out of NYC for some time, I then headed to the University of Wisconsin, Madison on April 17th and 18th and spent time with the students there. I loved the spirit of its student, and left feeling inspired and hopeful that these young people will take the reigns one day (if they’re not doing it already). I also got to do a bit of exploring. If you follow me on Instagram (@rrrlisarrr), you’ll see some of the places that I checked out.

This past Wednesday, I spent time in my own backyard at Stanford, thanks to the invitation of the Stanford Asian American Activist Committee, and as I am typing, I am getting ready to board a flight to go to Dartmouth to spend time with the students involved with the Pan Asian Wellness Initiative.

Click here for more info, just in case you know, you happen to be in Dartmouth for whatever reason. I’ll be doing a workshop, a talk, and a dinner discussion.

Hope you guys are all doing well out there. It has been a rough month for many who I love and care about deeply.

Take a deep breath, and take care of yourselves, please!

- Lisa

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Happy Mother's Day!

Sun, 12 May 2013 08:35:00 -0700

Here’s how first lady Michelle Obama talks to her children about food. (Read the full article here.)

I don’t talk about weight at all. I talk about healthy choices. When I talk about exercise I don’t talk about exercise in terms of you have to look good. Exercise is about competition; it’s about learning a new sport; it’s about being introduced to something interesting; it’s about learning about how to compete and why competition is important. We talk in those terms.

When we talk at the dinner table we talk about eating a balanced meal, not because of how you look but because of what your body needs.

Now that [the girls] are getting older they’re starting to conversations [about weight] in their community, so it’s not coming from us, it’s coming from the outside. But I always shift them back to health and tell them the best way to never have to worry about what you look like is just to get good food in your body.

It’s all about balance. It’s not about never having birthday cake, or going out to lunch and not having a burger. I don’t even want them to think about that. I don’t want them to obsess about food. I just want them to live their lives.

So if they’re doing a sport, if they stay active, if they’re eating vegetables most meals and not overeating, if we treat foods as treats — so the weekend I’ll tell them you can have one breakfast that’s a splurge breakfast, just once a week — because you just don’t need to have pancakes and sweet rolls — at the White House, you walk in and it’s like pancakes and a sweet roll and a biscuit — (laughter.) it’s like, who’s idea was this?

What’s the best advice your Mom has given you about food/body image?

Your Breakdown Will Be Your Breakthrough!

Tue, 07 May 2013 10:00:00 -0700

I hope through sharing my story, I can make a difference because finding this blog has been a true blessing.

I was born and raised on Oahu. The culture is very relationship-family oriented and people are so accepting. The ethnic groups were diverse and open to each other’s culture, beliefs, etc. I grew up in a positive culture and family without much judgment or pressure to be thin.

However, when I attended college in California (Biola Univ. a strict Christian univ because my mom wanted me to attend a “safe Christian” school), I was surrounded by a majority of Whites who looked like Barbie. I was an athlete my whole life in soccer and track (and still am fitness oriented). Retrospect, I was already beautiful, lean, and had a healthy amount of muscle for a 5’6” 18 year old Japanese-Okinawan female. But with the comparison of my peers/college environment and not having any support group, for the first time I felt unsure about myself—and my body! I was away from being accepted, known, my hometown, family, friends, etc. I was lonely and felt unaccepted. I began to run and increase my runs to cope with the rejection and loneliness. This is how the anorexia began for the next 3 more years by restricting and running daily. Before, I sought treatment and counseling, I was dangerously thin for 5’6. Many looked up to me and my friends were slightly envious of my willpower and determination, yet they were alarmed at how thin I was looking. The disorder was controlling and affecting me too much that I finally sought help. I’m glad I did.

After recovering from anorexia, now the other extreme of eating loads of comfort foods! Whats happening?! I felt lost, ashamed, depressed, angry, frustrated, helpless in this vicious cylcle of binging.

At that time in my last year in grad school pursing a MA in Clinical Psychology. I was under a lot of stress, pressure from school, and had a difficulty to handle disappointment. And—I was healing from a toxic emotionally abusive relationship that just ended. The only thing that felt comforting and a way to escape was through overeating and binging on comfort foods.

I felt rejected and disapproved by my own mother. I gained a lot of weight from binging. My mom was very critical and would say disapproving comments about my body, food intake or too much this or that. Sigh. While struggling with binging, it was difficult because I felt trapped between what my mom desired me to look like vs what my body was capable of. I wanted my mother’s approval and appreciation of me, not just my external looks. After many moments of crying, feeling desperate, helpless, hopeless, and back to all or nothing thinking, I finally broke down.

What made me realize I needed to heal completely and wanted to have lasting solutions:

I believed I wouldn’t ever have completely satisfied relationships with my family, friends, future partner/marriage/family. Why? Because I would continue to be preoccupied about eating and feeling emotionally horrible about myself.

Would you want to be with someone who struggles with binge eating, emotionally unavailable, poor body image—-and to seek my future partner to help and reassure me over and over? I answered that question and said no, it’s unfair for that special person. Since, I desired to be an influential role model to my future partner and children (which I still don’t have children), I wanted to give them my undivided attention, affirmation, love, respect, and support. I wanted to change my life and future. I am the creator of my life! I knew making this commitment would be the hardest, but I knew my reward of my life would be priceless! And it has been beautiful! I’ve been pursuing more of my dreams, my friendships are deeper, have an amazing relationship with someone, more confidence, lack of fear on overeating, and more unconditional love for myself. Fast forward to 2012, I’ve healed through binge eating and anorexia.

The process of healing and growing was filled with challenges. There were moments I wanted to forget about my commitment to heal. It was a process of accepting who I was and who I was growing to be. This is where I learned that to be unconditional to myself.

Change can only happen when someone is ready to change. A deep belief and commitment that YOU are valued and worthy to deserve the best for yourself. You deserve every ounce of joy, hope, self love, self acceptance, drive, forgiveness, belief, etc. Even though you may desire to lose weight, but if you’re still believing that you are ugly, undeserving—your actions overtime will resort back to binging or negative self talk.

I’ve read a lot of reading on binging and nutrition books, but it still felt it was too narrow or missed a lot of other issues on body image, culture, family experiences, and the other aspects on self valuing. I’m currently writing a binging book now that touches upon aspects of how our family, culture, self expectations, stressors and other aspects that keep us trapped into binging.

I’m a personal trainer. I have always wanted to be one. I wanted to share and empower others that the vicious cyle of emotionally eating or negative body image doesn’t have to be “heavily dependent on to exercise yourself to be thin.” I’m planning to return for a doctorate in psychology to help more people who struggle with disordered eating, eating disorders, binging, etc especially with the asian culture.

Lastly, the power of Instagram has allowed me to speak on taboo topics on binging, all or nothing thinking and about our attitude towards fitness. The amazing aspect of IG is that it has created a community of support, honesty, and encouaging others. I’d love to meet more from this community—and COLLABORATE with others who are passionate about the Asian community and the values of EMPOWERING oneself!

Thank you for taking the time to read and hear my story.

Joy | Los Angeles, California | USA

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LA Asian Pacific Film Festival

Wed, 01 May 2013 09:01:28 -0700

The Los Angeles Asian Pacific Film Festival starts tomorrow night! Now in its 29th year, this is a great chance to support films created by and starring Asians and Asian-Americans, including Thick Dumpling Skin’s very own co-founder Lynn Chen. See you there!

On Our Radar: My Foreign Mom

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:09:00 -0700

From Mary H K Choi’s article for Aeon Magazine:

School was awful. I had to leave during the middle of the day for physical therapy that involved swimming and returning to class with inexplicably wet hair. Lunch sucked. My mom would pack the dumbest garbage. She once smeared bits of raw garlic left over from making kimchi onto white sandwich bread, thinking that’s how the garlic bread advertised at Pizza Hut was born. I waited until she got off work that night and yelled at her with rank breath. I’d eaten most of the seemingly innocent square, elated that a sandwich had turned up at all in a lunch box that usually contained punishment food that sometimes had eyes. The stress of navigating school as a teeny-tiny uncomfortable person with an enormous gimp wing was taking a toll.

One lunch, I was dragging myself around the playground when I saw my mom standing by the fence, waving big and calling my name. I wanted so badly to ignore her. She was supposed to be at work and I didn’t have physical therapy that day so I was immediately suspicious. As confusing as her presence was, my curiosity did not outweigh my desire to be left alone. Especially by her. I began to back away so she started shouting loud enough to be heard over the playground din. I shuffled towards her with every intention to roundhouse-bludgeon her with my plastered arm. She held out a paper box. It was a McDonald’s happy meal: a cheeseburger one, which was my favorite. The offering was so out of character that I considered it a bribe. I wondered if my parents were getting a divorce since that was huge at my school at the time. I asked her what was going on. She mentioned something about how she wanted me to have a lunch that I liked.

I then did what any normal kid would do and yelled and yelled about how embarrassing it was to have her at school with me during lunch of all times. She presented me with a sack of cheeseburgers that I could give out to my friends. I refused the damp bag and screeched about how it was so cheap that she didn’t spring for bright red boxes with toys for them as well. I made her take the burgers back with her. If I were an actress and had to think of something sad to make me cry in a scene, I would think about this moment. This and the time I was 13 when I kicked my mom across a room and ran away for two days because she tried to ground me — for breaking curfew after my friend Jacinta stole money from her dying grandmother so we could rent out a nightclub and write the names of those blackballed on the sign outside. For the record: I don’t know why people have kids.

To read the entire story, click here.

Know something that should be On Our Radar? Contact us!

Parts Unknown

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 12:08:33 -0700

I’m right by K-town, but rarely eat there - partially because my husband’s a vegetarian, but mostly because I am not Korean. For some reason, when it comes to food + culture (specifically Asian ones), I am shy about exploration. I’m perfectly comfortable asking a million questions at a Taco Stand, Ethiopian restaurant, or Russian Deli. But when I’m sitting down to a bowl of Ramen, Pho, or Naengmyeon, I point and slurp quietly.

Maybe this has to do with the fact that I can “pass” and don’t want to make a spectacle of myself by asking too many questions.

This area is the subject of Anthony Bourdain’s latest episode of his new CNN show, Parts Unknown. I was pleased to see my favorite chef, Roy Choi, as one of his Ambassadors.

Artist David Choe also played tour guide - when they stopped at Sizzler, I felt an immediate connection. I, too, grew up going to these and related to his memories of feeling a “need” to get your money’s worth from the buffet.

Of course, my favorite part of the episode was when they went to Myung In Dumplings - the same place I went to celebrate the launch of this blog!

Did you see the episode? Do you relate? (Can you recommend some Koreatown places to visit?)

- Lynn

On Our Radar: Dove Real Beauty Sketches

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 11:55:00 -0700

One of our readers, Hien, sent us a lovely note with this video.

The summary? You are more beautiful, more vibrant, more amazing than you think. Don’t sell yourself short.

UPDATE: This post just appeared on our radar, and there are some really good points in the post that we didn’t get a chance to dissect.

The whole premise of the post is that this Dove campaign is perpetuating a certain “standard” of beauty, and that physical beauty might be everything.

I know we’ve been told it thousands upon thousands of times before, but I hope you heard that, girls: your physical, superficial beauty is the most significant part of who you are, and the most important determining factor in your life. And now I want you to hear this: that is a lie.

Obviously, your beauty is so much more than just your looks. But despite the fact that women of color weren’t featured prominently in the video, I think one thing that Dove might be onto with this video is this idea of physical beauty. As much as I want to throw this line of thinking completely throw it out the window, I understand how physical beauty can and often times do affect the way we feel about ourselves inside.

Yes we should try to break out of that. Absolutely yes it is NOT the most significant part of who you we are, but I’d like to give this “experiment” a little benefit of the doubt.

If only women “saw” themselves the way that other people see them, not just physically… If we imagined that there is this constant aura and light oozing out of us, then maybe we can all start to project more positiveness into this world.

What you look like should not affect the choices that you make. It should certainly not affect the friends you make—the friends that wouldn’t want to be in relationship with you if you did not meet a certain physical standard are not the friends that you want to have. Go out for jobs that you want, that you’re passionate about. Don’t let how good looking you feel like you are affect the way way that you treat your children. And certainly do not make how well you feel you align with the strict and narrow “standard” that the beauty industry and media push be critical to your happiness, because you will always be miserable. You will always feel like you fall short, because those standards are designed to keep you constantly pressured into buying things like make up and diet food and moisturizer to reach an unattainable goal. Don’t let your happiness be dependent on something so fickle and cruel and trivial. You should feel beautiful, and Dove was right about one thing: you are more beautiful than you know. But please, please hear me: you are so, so much more than beautiful.

- Lisa

Know something that should be On Our Radar? Contact us!

Sending Love to Boston

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 08:32:40 -0700

Here’s how to help.

Bucky Badger for a Day

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 08:31:00 -0700

UW-Madison, I’m heading your way next Wednesday thanks to your AASU.

I’ll be talking about how Thick Dumpling Skin came about and doing a workshop on how we think of our bodies. The last time I visited Wisconsin was quite a few years ago. I was out in some rural area and I remember buying my first authentic leather cowboy hat that is still sitting in my parents’ house.

I have a feeling that this visit might be a little different.

MSC Lounge, Red Gym
Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
7 pm - 9 pm.

RSVP on Facebook here and I’ll see you soon! Oh, and if you have recs on what I should do or see during my visit, let me know.

- Lisa

Do you want Thick Dumpling Skin at your event? Contact us!

On Our Radar: Margaret Deserves to be Naked

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 14:00:00 -0700

From Margaret Cho, about an experience she had at a jimjilbang, a traditional korean spa:

I told them that I really wanted to join, but I felt so weird about how I was treated. I told them that Korean culture is one thing, but this place is in Los Angeles. We are not in Korea right now. This is America. And it’s not like I enjoyed looking at their bodies that much. These were all women of various sizes and shapes and some, like me, bore the marks of a difficult life. My tattoos represent much of the pain and suffering I have endured. They are part of me, just like my scars, my fat, my eternal struggle with gravity. None of our bodies are ‘perfect’. We live in them. They aren’t supposed to be ‘perfect’. We are just us, perceived flaws and all. I am just only myself. I like a good scrub and a sauna, especially when you can watch Tiger Woods while it’s all going down.

Their intolerance viewing my nakedness –- as if it was some kind of an assault on their senses, like my ass was a weapon - made me furious in a way I can’t really even express with words -– and that for me is quite impressive. This bitch always has some shit to say.

I guess it comes down to this -– I deserve better.

I brought the first Korean American family to television. I have influenced a generation of Asian American comedians, artists, musicians, actors, authors -– many, many people to do what they dreamed of doing, not letting their race and the lack of Asian Americans in the media stop them. If anything, I understand Korean culture better than most, because I have had to fight against much of its homophobia, sexism, racism –- all the while trying to maintain my fierce ethnic pride. I struggle with the language so that I can be better understood. I try to communicate my frustrations in Korean so that I can enhance my relationship with my identity, my family, my parents homeland.

I deserve to be naked if I want to.

To read the entire story, click here.

Know something that should be On Our Radar? Contact us!

Leah's Story: The Magic of Wonder Con

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 10:00:37 -0700

Leah's Story: The Magic of Wonder Con:

Thick Dumpling Skin co-founder Lynn Chen recently attended WonderCon to speak about Body Image and Women’s Issues in the Entertainment Industry.

You can read more about her experience over at The Actor’s Diet, but here is Leah Cevoli’s blog post, the woman who put the inspiring panel together!

leahcevoli:

This past weekend, I attended Wonder Con. I’ve been attending conventions since aprox. 2005, and have been speaking regularly on panels for about 2 years now. However, this was the very first time I had pitched the panel topic and signed up to moderate it.

I was nervous and excited the…

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On Our Radar: "Diyet" List

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 10:00:00 -0700

Amy Cheney, mother of three daughters, finds an ever-so-innocent “diyet” list in her daughter’s bedroom.

How did she respond? She got angry. Then, she sat her daughter down to have a talk about diets and beautiful healthy bodies.

F*ck you society. F*ck you and your and stupid obsession with women and the way they look.

How dare you sneak into my home with your ridiculous standards and embed them in my little girls head, polluting her innocence with your pathetic ideals.

Jog/run up and down the driv way three times.

Your unrealistic expectations will not win in my house.

I am tired of the beauty and body obsessed arena we live in. I am tired of women being portrayed as objects to be saluted and admired or shunned and shamed depending on whether they measure up to societies idealistic standards. I am tired of the conformist attitudes. And then, because I was so tired (and sad, so sad) that I cried.

Amy says, “I am not naive. I know this will not be the last time I talk about food and weight and bodies with my daughter. I am just ultra pissed that it had to start when she was seven.”

Read the full article here.

Know something that should be On Our Radar? Contact us!

Hopeful for Hope College

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 08:00:28 -0700

Am full of hope today because I am heading to Hope College in Holland, Michigan, for its Asian Heritage Celebration!

There will be two events hosted by the Asian Perspective Association (one that happened as I waited at the San Francisco airport), and I will be speaking about TDS tonight at 6 pm in the Fried-Hemenway Auditorium.

If you happen to be around in Holland, I hope to see you.

- Lisa

Do you want Thick Dumpling Skin at your event? Contact us!

Hi guys, I just wanted to say your website is amazing. I'm recently coming to terms with the fact that I might have a binge-eating disorder and Lynn's stories of her realization and recovery are inspiring. I definitely binged a lot in middle/early high school and stopped for many years but the past month or two I've found myself slipping into the occasional binge (I am a college student). Your website gives me courage and I'm going to speak with my mother about my concerns this week. :)

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 00:00:00 -0700

Thank you so much for sharing, and YOUR strength is inspiring to us. Speaking to loved ones about something so personal is never easy, so thank you for setting an example for this community!

Beyond the Bad and the Ugly

Mon, 01 Apr 2013 10:00:23 -0700

Last weekend, I was in LA at the “Asian stereotypes” conference. I moderated a panel on “Move This,” a discussion about how we can take what’s online, offline, to create social change. Basically, it was about campaigns that tackle negative stereotypes of Asian Americans.

I had the honor of being reunited with dear friends like Cynthia from 18 Million Rising and traci from Tuesday Night Cafe in LA, which everyone should go to. I also got to hear insightful commentaries from Michael from Racebending and Eileen, professor from Duke.

Thanks to the successful Indiegogo campaign that we had, you can actually watch the entire session online.

You can remotely participate in the entire conference if you want. Check out the Secret Identity Universe and all its gems here.

Huge props to Jeff Yang for recognizing the importance of creating forums like these where we can refuel, ideate, and continue to inspire each other and those around us to do more.

- Lisa

Do you want Thick Dumpling Skin at your event? Contact us!

Love is Love

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 13:30:00 -0700

The hardest part about this post was… deciding which one of these fine symbols to use. In the end, we settled on this.

Marriage equality + bacon = perfection.

In all seriousness, the way we feel about marriage equality is not very different from how we feel about the right to our own bodies. We at TDS feel that no one should ever be able to tell you who you can or cannot love, marry, and spend the rest of your life with.

Love is love, and it’s a damn beautiful thing.

Going to WonderCon?

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 19:09:00 -0700

Cofounder Lynn Chen will be speaking on the All Shapes and Sizes Welcome Panel at WONDERCON 2013 in Anaheim this Saturday, March 30th with Leah Cevoli, Adrianne Curry, Amber Krzys, Miracle Laurie, and Helenna Santos Levy.

These outspoken actresses, models, writers, and entrepreneurs will share openly their own journey with body image, eating disorders, and the road to recovery and self-love. The panel will address the sexualization of women in the industry and also discuss healthy lifestyles and acceptance for women of all shapes and sizes, while inspiring others to get out there and live their best life.

Do you want Thick Dumpling Skin at your event? Contact us!

The New Change Agents That is Us

Tue, 26 Mar 2013 07:54:40 -0700

Excuse the braggy title, but our Marie Claire profile in “The New Change Agents” is now up online. And apparently on the front page of MarieClaire.com too.

Look ma, it’s us!

Of course, this would not have happened without all of your support, so thank you, again, for sharing yourself with this community. We mean this more than we can express.

Read the entire profile here.

Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement. Here are...

Tue, 19 Mar 2013 18:01:01 -0700

Jeff Riedel, our amazing photographer. He gave us this as a parting present.

We're kind of goofy.

Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement. Here are some behind-the-scenes photos from our shoot in NYC with Marie Claire! There are some taken by Lisa, and some taken by Lynn.

Jeff Riedel was our photographer, Dennis Fei did our hair, and Allie Smith was the makeup artist. They sure made us look good.

You can read more about the food/travel part over at The Actor’s Diet.