Guess who had dumplings yesterday?!?

I blog about what, and how much I eat, every single day over at The Actor’s Diet. Sometimes I wind up over-doing it, and this affects me physically - I fall asleep in the middle of the day, I’m unable to partake in a fun BBQ with friends, I feel sick to my stomach.

Something I used to do was announce to the world (okay, usually just my husband) what was going on in my head: “Did you see how much I ate?”  ”What’s wrong with me?”  ”I’m going to burst.”  ”Why did I eat so much?”  I thought it was about how I felt physically, but it was really all a mental thing.  Obsessively narrating what was going on with my body was really my way of expressing guilt and shame for “losing control.”  It got really old, really fast, and would send mixed messages to others (and myself) when I’d repeat this pattern just a week later.  It’s okay to keep these things to yourself, not because it’s annoying to hear (although, it probably is) but because sometimes what you say will affect other’s thoughts: “Wait a sec, she feels stuffed from that amount of food?”  ”What’s wrong with ME that I don’t feel even remotely full?”

Truth is, I’m not going to stop overeating when the occasion calls for it.  And my body’s not going to stop hurting afterwards.  But I can stop talking about it and accept it.  

- Lynn