(Photo by Leanne Koh)
What a weekend! Actually, the last few weeks have been rather crazy for me. I’ve been auditioning non-stop (it’s the hellish time in an actor’s life known as pilot season) so going to the San Francisco International Asian American Film Festival was almost more of a vacation for me, even though I had four movies to promote.
Seeing myself on screen in a new project for the first time is always pretty difficult; it’s hard to separate yourself from the character on screen. Memories of everything that happened during filming come flooding back, and I find it nearly impossible to just experience the movie as an audience member.
Part of what used to drive me bananas was being unhappy with the actual image of myself - I would scrutinize my body, unflattering angles, my posture, etc. But nowadays, I’m truly at peace with it. Sure, I do notice an occasional double chin, stray hairs that distract, and the weird thing my eye does if I look too far left or right. But really - what can I do? Part of what I love about acting is losing myself in the character, and becoming obsessed with sucking my stomach in or over-worrying about sodium/sugar intake isn’t really what I want my experience on set to be focused on.
And it really isn’t helpful to ME to make my viewing experience all about my looks, rather than my performance (whether I’m happy about that is for a whole other blog post).
You can follow my Bay Area adventures over at The Actor’s Diet, where I wrote about the “Nice Girls Crew” World Premiere, “Yes We’re Open” & “Daylight Savings” Double Feature, and “Saving Face” Reunion.